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IYADH — In a landmark decision hailed as "revolutionary" and "economically sustainable," Arab leaders announced a bold initiative to assist Palestine in their ongoing struggles: dispatching a record-breaking number of thoughts and prayers. The decision, made during a lavish banquet held in a golden palace, is expected to send ripples throughout the international community.

Sheikh Money Al-Lotsa, spokesperson for the coalition, commented on the initiative, "We've crunched the numbers, and after intense discussions lasting nearly half a dessert course, we've determined that thoughts and prayers are not only infinitely renewable but also eco-friendly."

The decision was unveiled alongside a brand-new app, "PrayForPal," where users can click a button to send a virtual prayer to Palestine. The app also includes in-app purchases to enhance prayers with emojis, gifs, and animated backgrounds. "We're especially proud of the glitter feature," mentioned a developer.

Experts predict that at the current rate, Palestine should receive approximately 1.2 billion thoughts and an impressive 600 million prayers by the end of the fiscal year. Economists have been quick to point out the secondary benefits, such as the increased demand for prayer mats and contemplative scenic wallpapers.

Some critics argue that tangible aid, like food, infrastructure, and medical supplies, might be more beneficial. In response, Sheikh Money Al-Lotsa countered, "Yes, but have they considered the spiritual bandwidth we're generating?"

Celebrity endorsements have also started pouring in, with famous Arab pop stars releasing charity singles like "Think of You (While I Shop)" and "Prayer Bae." Proceeds from the songs will reportedly go towards more lavish banquets to discuss further ground-breaking initiatives.

In related news, plans are reportedly underway to address other regional issues with similar strategies. There's already talk of combating desertification with positive vibes and facing water shortages with optimistic hydration meditation sessions.

Posted 
Oct 29, 2023
 in 
World Affairs
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