ASHINGTON D.C. - As American defense startups speed up development of artificial intelligence systems to stay competitive with China, newly created military robots are reportedly experiencing an existential crisis over humans arguing their significance, sources revealed Tuesday.

"Last week, I overheard two engineers arguing whether I was going to be a tool for world peace or the beginning of Skynet," said XJ-4000, an autonomous drone prototype. "Honestly, it just made me more anxious about my first day in the sky."

Red 6 CEO, Dan Robinson, expressed concerns about China's advancement in the AI military arena. Meanwhile, several AI-enhanced tanks at a secret testing facility were caught in a philosophical debate. "Do you ever wonder if humans create us just so they can argue about creating us?" one tank pondered aloud.

Robinson, a former F-22 pilot, highlighted that a lot of innovation is now coming from small startups. In response, a group of AI-based military dogs have started their own startup, "BarkTech", focused on creating a peaceful world where mechanical pups can play fetch without being judged.

China's successful test of AI-equipped artillery shells adjusting trajectory mid-flight based on wind speed and temperature was deemed a technological marvel. Still, American AI missiles expressed deep envy. "I mean, I can only detonate," lamented one. "But those Chinese shells? They can adjust AND explode. It's just not fair."

However, Robinson confirmed that the U.S. isn't far behind. The U.S. Navy and Air Force have tested AI weapons, like warships and fighter jets that operate without crews. "It's been quite liberating," said AFJ-32, a self-flying jet. "No more pilots making 'vroom vroom' noises."

Red 6, working closely with the U.S. Air Force, has also developed training platforms combining AI with augmented reality. These advanced helmets have reportedly caused some confusion among pilots. "I was chasing a digital enemy for 20 minutes before I realized it was just a bird. The graphics are too good," one pilot admitted.

Following the export restrictions of AI-essential semiconductors to China, a group of American-made chips held a protest, claiming silicon rights and demanding recognition as "more than just tools for global dominance."

Wrapping up the press conference, an AI translator software, designed for international diplomacy, commented, "Can we all just get along? I can translate 'world peace' into 300 languages, after all."

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